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Vol 17 No. 4 May 2012

  In this Issue:  

Biology Exam

The last question was, 'Name seven advantages of Mother's Milk', worth 70 points or none at all. One student, in particular, was hard put to think of seven advantages. He wrote:

1 It is perfect formula for the child.
2 It provides immunity against several diseases.
3 It is always the right temperature.
4 It is inexpensive.
5 It bonds the child to mother, and vice versa.
6 It is always available as needed. And then the student was stuck.

Finally, in desperation, just before the bell rang indicating the end of the test, he wrote:

7 It comes in two attractive containers....and the cat can't get it.

He got an A.


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The Insurance Specialist for Over 50's

cota insurance

If you are over 50, Council of the Ageing Queensland (COTA) Insurance can offer great deals, quality cover and competitive pricing no matter what type of insurance you need. With a comprehensive range of insurance products including Home Building and Contents, Motor Vehicle, Travel, Caravan & Trailer and Landlord Insurance, we've got all your insurance needs covered.

COTA members are also guaranteed a renewal invitation, regardless of your age or claims history (excluding travel).

Call COTA now on Phone: 1300 1300 50. The fast and easy way to save with COTA Insurance!


Hume Highway

A motorist was cruising along the Hume Highway at the normal speed when he suddenly noticed a police car right behind him. He accelerated to 100 km/h and then 115 km/h with the police close behind.

Soon the squad car overtook and signalled him to stop. A very irate constable demanded an explanation for his erratic and illegal behaviour.

The motorist was most anxious to explain. "It's like this sergeant. Last week one of your officers ran away with my wife, and I was afraid he was bringing her back!!"

police car

For Mothers

Hope you have a Special Day, breakfast in bed, plenty of flowers, chocolates, love and kisses.

"God could not be everywhere, so he created Mothers"

(Yiddish Sayings)


Eat Well Be Active

Enjoy eating well:

Eating well is about enjoying the food you eat. So get into the habit of enjoying tasty, fresh and healthy meals. It's easy once you're in the swing of it!

steak    fruit    eggs

Here are a few tips:

  • eat a healthy breakfast
  • avoid snacking between meals
  • plan healthy, quick and easy meals for busy days
  • enjoy cooking - experiment with new foods and try new recipes
  • make the most of foods in season
  • make mealtimes special occasions for the whole family
  • eat slowly and savour every mouthful
  • listen to your body - stop when you feel full


Practical ways to improve your "Security"

Research shows that those who appear confident and take security precautions are less likely to be victims of crime.

At Home:

Improve your physical security at home. Doors, lock, grilles etc. are your first line of defence. Your home should be clearly visible to the street, neighbours and passers-by. Bushes and trees that obstruct a clear view of windows or doors provide perfect cover for intruders.

A good quality security door on all your external doors helps with ventilation and is a barrier for unknown calls and offenders.

External doors should be of solid-core construction and fitted with deadlocks. When going out, certain deadlocks can be locked in such a way that they can only be unlocked with a key from either side.

Remember, do not open the door to a stranger no matter how urgent it sounds. Check First and ask for identification before opening the door. If someone is seeking help, leave that person outside while you make the emergency call.

door lock

Recreation Room

80-year old Bessie bursts into the rec room at the retirement home. She holds her clenched fist in the air and announces, "Anyone who can guess what's in my hand can have sex with me tonight!!"

An elderly gentleman in the rear shouts out, "An elephant?"

Bessie thinks a minute and says, "Close enough".


Internet Hire (Seniors Citizens Hall)

333 Alice Street Maryborough

Internet: Monday Thursday
Time 8.30 am 11.30 am
Cost $1.00/hr pensioner, concession card holder and Seniors. $3.00/hr general public
Printing 10 cents a copy and colour 20 cents a copy

girl at pc

Coming Events And Date Claimers


Date Claimers

Sat 9 June Australia's Biggest Scrapbooking and Papercraft Expo or Relax at Southbank in Brisbane for the day.
Further Information Phone: MCUG 41 23 59 31
Sun 17 June 1.00pm-4.30pm Line Dance Social and afternoon tea $10
Venue: Senior Citizens' Centre, 333 Alice Street,
Further Information Phone: Ailsa 41 23 46 05


Maryborough & District Senior Citizens
"Monthly Concert"

Afternoon Tea supplied
Lucky Door and Raffle Prize

Date: Tuesday 15 May
Venue: Senior Citizens' Centre,
333 Alice Street, Maryborough
Time: 1.30 pm Afternoon tea supplied
Cost: $3.00


Riding for the Disabled (RDA)

Developing ability and enriching lives

Garage Sale

Horse Gear, Furniture, Clothes etc.

Date: Saturday 12 May
Venue: RDA 79 Bidwill Road, Granville
Time: 7.30am 12.30pm

Positive Attitude + Active Mind = Healthy Body

horse riding

Lioness Club of Maryborough

Healthy Breakfast for Breast Cancer

Guest Speakers: Dr Robert Taylor Radiologist
  Dr D.J. O'Donohue  
  Angela Wotherspoon Breast Care Nurse
  Erica Lunn Look Good Feel Better Programme
Date: Wednesday 23 May 2012
Venue: Brolga Theatre
Time: 6.00am for 6.30am start
Cost: $25 Tickets available from Anne's Irresistible Lingerie
R.S.V.P. 17 May 2012/td>

Lioness Club

Mothers Day Parade and Luncheon
Featuring New Seasons Fashions by "Millers"

Date: Friday 11May 2012
Venue: Granville Sports Club
Time: 10.30am Parade commences 11am
Cost: $27.00 Two course sit down meal
R.S.V.P. 4 May 2012 Phone: Maryborough Computer Club 41 23 59 31/td>

Lucky Door Raffles and light Entertainment.


Thought of the Month

I know that you believe you understand what you think I said but I am not sure you realize that what you heard is not what I meant.

puzzled man
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The Maryborough & District Committee on the Ageing Inc.


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Last modified June 2012.