Vol 17 No. 4 May 2012
|In this Issue:|
The last question was, 'Name seven advantages of Mother's Milk', worth 70 points or none at all. One student, in particular, was hard put to think of seven advantages. He wrote:
1 It is perfect formula for the child.
Finally, in desperation, just before the bell rang indicating the end of the test, he wrote:
7 It comes in two attractive containers....and the cat can't get it.
He got an A.
Save with COTA Insurance,
A motorist was cruising along the Hume Highway at the normal speed when he suddenly noticed a police car right behind him. He accelerated to 100 km/h and then 115 km/h with the police close behind.
Soon the squad car overtook and signalled him to stop. A very irate constable demanded an explanation for his erratic and illegal behaviour.
The motorist was most anxious to explain. "It's like this sergeant. Last week one of your officers ran away with my wife, and I was afraid he was bringing her back!!"
Hope you have a Special Day, breakfast in bed, plenty of flowers, chocolates, love and kisses.
"God could not be everywhere, so he created Mothers"
Eat Well Be Active
Enjoy eating well:
Eating well is about enjoying the food you eat. So get into the habit of enjoying tasty, fresh and healthy meals. It's easy once you're in the swing of it!
Here are a few tips:
Practical ways to improve your "Security"
Research shows that those who appear confident and take security precautions are less likely to be victims of crime.
Improve your physical security at home. Doors, lock, grilles etc. are your first line of defence. Your home should be clearly visible to the street, neighbours and passers-by. Bushes and trees that obstruct a clear view of windows or doors provide perfect cover for intruders.
A good quality security door on all your external doors helps with ventilation and is a barrier for unknown calls and offenders.
External doors should be of solid-core construction and fitted with deadlocks. When going out, certain deadlocks can be locked in such a way that they can only be unlocked with a key from either side.
Remember, do not open the door to a stranger no matter how urgent it sounds. Check First and ask for identification before opening the door. If someone is seeking help, leave that person outside while you make the emergency call.
80-year old Bessie bursts into the rec room at the retirement home. She holds her clenched fist in the air and announces, "Anyone who can guess what's in my hand can have sex with me tonight!!"
An elderly gentleman in the rear shouts out, "An elephant?"
Bessie thinks a minute and says, "Close enough".
Internet Hire (Seniors Citizens Hall)
333 Alice Street Maryborough
Coming Events And Date Claimers
Maryborough & District Senior Citizens
|Date:||Tuesday 15 May|
|Venue:||Senior Citizens' Centre,
333 Alice Street, Maryborough
|Time:||1.30 pm Afternoon tea supplied|
Developing ability and enriching lives
Horse Gear, Furniture, Clothes etc.
|Date:||Saturday 12 May|
|Venue:||RDA 79 Bidwill Road, Granville|
|Time:||7.30am – 12.30pm|
Positive Attitude + Active Mind = Healthy Body
Lioness Club of Maryborough
|Guest Speakers:||Dr Robert Taylor||Radiologist|
|Dr D.J. O'Donohue|
|Angela Wotherspoon||Breast Care Nurse|
|Erica Lunn||Look Good Feel Better Programme|
|Date:||Wednesday 23 May 2012|
|Time:||6.00am for 6.30am start|
|Cost:||$25 Tickets available from Anne's Irresistible Lingerie|
|R.S.V.P.||17 May 2012/td>|
|Date:||Friday 11May 2012|
|Venue:||Granville Sports Club|
|Time:||10.30am Parade commences 11am|
|Cost:||$27.00 Two course sit down meal|
|R.S.V.P.||4 May 2012 Maryborough Computer Club 41 23 59 31/td>|
Lucky Door Raffles and light Entertainment.
I know that you believe you understand what you think I said but I am not sure you realize that what you heard is not what I meant.
The Maryborough & District Committee on the Ageing Inc.
Last modified June 2012.