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Vol 17 No. 2 March 2012

  In this Issue:  

Extreme Weather Precautions, be ready!

  • Remove loose objects that might get broken or cause damage if blown around.
  • Tie down (or fill with water) large, relatively light things like garbage bins and boats
  • Shelter and secure your pets
  • Shelter vehicles or cover them with a tarpaulin or blankets - make sure you have a full tank of fuel in case you need and are able to evacuate
  • If floods are likely, move outdoor equipment, cardboard boxes, garbage, chemicals and poisons to somewhere up high
  • Fill your sinks and bath with fresh drinking water


Armed Robbery

O'Flaherty saw a poster outside the police station: "Man Wanted for Armed Robbery in Dublin."
He said to Paddy, "Now if that job was in Donegal, I'd take it."

Wanted Poster

Taylor Street Community Legal Service

The Taylor Street Community Legal Service is a non-profit community service which provides free non discriminatory legal advice to socio-economically disadvantaged people.

Advice is free and all consultations are private and confidential. However due to limited resources and time, there is a maximum of 20 minutes for each consultation.

Maryborough Phone: 41 21 21 41 M'bro Neighbourhood Centre
Tiaro Phone: 41 29 24 53 Tiaro Library

This Service is available:

Day: Wednesdays
Time: 5 p.m. onwards
Venue: Maryborough Neighbourhood Centre, 25 Ellena Street.

All free legal advice sessions are by appointment only!

man at desk

Vale Gloria Shooter

Sympathy is extended to the family and members of the Maryborough Senior Citizen's Centre on the recent passing of Gloria Shooter.

Gloria was a valued member of The Senior Citizen Club and held the position of President from 1991 to 2004. She was rewarded with Life Membership.

She will be greatly missed by all who knew her.

May she rest in peace!


U3A - Annual General Meeting

Guest Speaker - Crezette Fletcher with her Assistance Dog

Date: Tuesday 6 March
Venue: Senior Citizen's Centre
Time: 9.30am Morning Tea
10.00am Annual General Meeting



Prostate Cancer Foundation of Australia
Men's Wellbeing Evening You and Your Prostate

Date: Monday 12 March
Venue: Wesley Auditorium, St Stephen's Church
Time: 5.30pm for 6pm start (Light Refreshments provided)
Guest Speakers: Leoll Barron - Men's Health Ambassador
James Rossiter Physiotherapist
Dr John Yaxley - "World Renowed" Urologist based in Brisbane

Prostate Cancer Foundation


Help Please

While taking a routine vandalism report at a primary school, I was interrupted by a little girl about 6 years old. Looking up and down at my uniform, she asked, 'Are you a policeman?'
'Yes,' I answered and continued writing the report.
'My mother said if I ever needed help I should ask the police. Is that right?'
'Yes, that's right,' I told her.
'Well, then,' she said as she extended her foot toward me, 'would you please tie my shoe lace?'


Central School Celebrates 150 Years

Date: Saturday 10 March 2012
Time: Registration from 11.00

The celebration will include traditional games, entertainment, competitions, souvenirs etc.

For further info: Phone: Janet 41218777 or
email centralschool50@gmail.com


UnitingCare Community Support Group

Date: Mondays 6.30 pm to 8 pm
Venue: The Powerhouse Building,
Cnr Tooley & Kent Streets
Contact: Ingrid Payne (Gambling Help Service Counsellor/Educator)
Phone: 41 22 90 00 Mobile Phone: 0407 271 970

Gambling Help

Tooth Fairy

While working for meals on wheels delivering lunches to the elderly, I used to take my 4-year-old daughter on my rounds. She was unfailingly intrigued by the various appliances of old age, particularly the canes, walkers and wheelchairs. One day I found her staring at a pair of false teeth soaking in a glass. As I braced myself for the inevitable barrage of questions, she merely turned and whispered, 'The tooth fairy will never believe this!'


St Patricks Afternoon
in aid of Catholic Women's League, Maryborough

Irish Community Singing, Mini Tombola, Concert Items etc.

Date: Sunday 18 March 2012
Venue: St Mary's Parish Hall, Bazaar St. (opposite Post Office)
Time: 1.30 pm (Doors open at 12.30 pm)
Cost: $5.00 Delicious Irish Afternoon Tea

Bring your friends and enjoy good old Irish fun and fellowship


An Irish priest and a Rabbi get into a car accident. They both get out of their cars and stumble over to the side of the road. The Rabbi says, "Oy vey! What a wreck!"

The priest asks him, "Are you all right, Rabbi?"

The Rabbi responds, "Just a little shaken."

The priest pulls a flask of whiskey from his coat and says, "Here, drink some of this it will calm your nerves."

The Rabbi takes the flask and drinks it down and says, "Well, what are we going to tell the police?"

"Well," the priest says, "I don't know what your aft' to be tellin' them. But I'll be telling them I wasn't the one drinkin'."

police car

Coming Events And Date Claimers


Date Claimers

  • Thurs 29 Mar
    Morning Melodies The Italian Songbook
    Singers Liza Beamish & Lachlan Baker
    Brolga Theatre Phone: 41 22 6010

  • Sun 15 April
    High Tea Granville Anglican Church
    Fundraiser for St Paul's Bell Restoration Appeal


Croquet Open Day
A Sport for All Ages

Date: Sunday 25 March 2012
Venue: Point Lookout Croquet Club, 23 North Street
Time: 12 noon (Free Sausage Sizzle)
R,S,V,P,: 22 March Phone: 41 22 10 23


St Stephen's Hospital Ladies Auxiliary

Date: Saturday 17 March, 2012
Venue: St Mary's Parish Hall, Bazaar Street, Maryborough
Time: 1.30 pm

Major Prizes, Lucky Door, Raffle etc.

Lucky Door Raffles etc.

Come and join us and have a lot of fun, luscious homemade Morning Tea

St Stephens

Maryborough & District Senior Citizen's Club
Monthly Concert

Date: Tuesday 20 March
Concert: 1.30 pm
Cost: $3 - Afternoon tea supplied


Thought of the Month

Bad habits are like a comfortable bed, easy to get into! but hard to get out of.

puzzled man
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The Maryborough & District Committee on the Ageing Inc.


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Department of Families
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Last modified Apr 2012.