SHADES OF GREY

A simple way to avoid damage if you have the misfortune to have your wallet stolen.

• Place the contents of your wallet on a photocopy machine.
• Do both sides of each licence, credit card, etc. You will know what you had in your wallet and all of the account numbers and phone numbers to call and cancel.
• Keep the photocopy in a safe place.
• Do it now.

Senior's Week Funding

Funds are available to assist organisations to hold events or conduct special projects during Seniors Week. Seniors Week will be held from Saturday 18 August to Sunday 26 August 2007, however activities scheduled shortly before and after those dates will be considered for funding.

Applications for grants of between $300 and $1,000 will be considered for Seniors Week activities. Amounts over $1,000 will be considered for collaborative events or projects.

All submissions must be lodged with the Department by 5.00pm on 27th November 2006. Late submissions may not be accepted.

The Funding Submission Form is contained with the Funding Information Package, which is available in other related documentation on the Department of Communities web site at http://www.communities.qld.gov.au/department/funding/olderpeople/ or from your local regional office.

PURPLE PEOPLE FEEDERS

PURPLE PEOPLE FEEDERS supporting Meals on Wheels Fraser Coast, recommend booking early for your Christmas Party Catering, before all the best dates are taken.

• Hot Finger Food
• Delicious Sandwiches
• Sumptuous Fruit Platters
• Cheese, Fruit & Cracker Platters

Quotes for Table Service Meals, BBQs, any function large or small
Telephone 4121 4636 or 4121 4297

Meals on Wheels Fraser Coast and Purple People Feeders wish everyone a Happy & Safe Christmas and New Year.

Stay Active, Stay Independent
Stay on Your Feet

Closing Times For Our Place and Oracle

The last day for operation for Our Place, the tea room in the City Hall will be Thursday 14th December and our volunteers will reopen this facility on 11th January 2007.

The final Oracle tapes for 2006 will be posted out to our Reading Impaired clients on Wednesday, 13th December. A special Christmas tape will be sent out prior to the festive season.

Spelling

JUS VEN WE AL SORT VE HAD THE ENGLISH SPELING SORTED OUT - NOW VE HAVE DIS.

The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was the other possibility.

As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase-in plan that would become known as "Euro-English".

In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with joy.

The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.

There will be growing public enthusiasm in the sekond year when the troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like fotograf 20% shorter.

In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.

Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling.

Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the language is disgrasful and it should go away.

By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with "z" and "w" with "v".

During ze fifz year, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords containing "ou" and after ziz fifz yer, we vil hav a reil sensi bl riten styl.

Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivum vil find it ezi tu understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.

Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze forst plas. If zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl.

Organ Donation

The Australian Organ Donor Register aims to promote and encourage all Australians to consider organ and tissue donation as an option and to register their intention by a yes or a no.

While the national register offers a very simple and accessible method of recording an individual's intention on donation, it still is extremely important that the topic is discussed with your family or next of kin.

Discussing the issue with family and friends will help to ensure your decision to donate organs and tissues for transplantation are honoured.

For more information on the Australian Donation Register you can ring the information line on 1800 777 203 or visit the web sites at www.medicareaustralia.gov.au and www.health.qld.gov.au/queenslandersdonate

Queensland Health Public Affairs Media Statement

Ring in the new year message,
The hopes that we all share,
For strength within our daily lives,
For friendship's tender care,
And for true understanding now,
And in the future, too -
That we may find inspiring times
Through friendships old and new!

Elizabeth Gozney

Shopping a Problem?

Getting out to shop a problem?

Price increases on grocery items frightening?

Finding the kitchen too hot for cooking?

Is washing up becoming a chore?

If the answer is "YES" to any of the above, then let Meals on Wheels Fraser Coast take the worry and drudgery out of meal preparation.

Call us on 4121 4297 for nutritious hot meals or salads, dessert, juice and soup for only $7.00.

A Final Diagnosis

Thought I'd let my doctor check me,
'Cause I didn't feel quite right ...
All those aches and pains annoyed me
And I couldn't sleep at night.

He could find no real disorder
But he wouldn't let it rest.
What with Medicare and Credicare,
We would do a couple of tests.

To the hospital he sent me
Though I didn't feel that bad.
He arranged for them to give me
Every test that could be had.

I was fluoroscoped and cytoscoped,
My ageing frame displayed.
Stripped, on an ice-cold table,
While my innards were x-rayed.

I was checked for worms and parasites,
For fungus and that crud,
While they pierced me with sharp needles,
And drained me of some blood.

Doctors came to check me over,
Probed and pushed and poked around,
And to make sure I was living,
Wired me up for every sound.

They have finally concluded
Their results have filled a page.
What I have will someday kill me;
My affliction's called old age.

Anon

The Maryborough & District Committee on the Ageing Inc.